


Double Date

by Spoon888



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: A Loud Seagull, A Louder Starscream, Attempted Poisonings, Double Date, Dysfunctional Relationships, M/M, implied outdoor sex, romantic sunsets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-27 00:22:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20751224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spoon888/pseuds/Spoon888
Summary: Megatron 'invites' Knock Out and Breakdown to join him and Starscream on a double date. Knowing how these things usually go, Knock Out brings as much emergency equipment as he can physically carry. Just in case.





	Double Date

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ServingSmoothies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ServingSmoothies/gifts).

> Thank you Mx for the amazing prompt!

It was an otherwise ordinary shift for Knock Out. An hour spent bashing out dents in the Eradicons and the rest of his valuable time saved for pampering his own glossy frame.

The privilege of being the onboard medic meant having unlimited access to all of the premium bodywork appliances. Granted, most of his stock -ordered in by Soundwave who never deviated from what was strictly necessary- was better suited to the drones he serviced on a cycle-to-cycle basis than a superior model such as himself. Which was a tragic waste really. As strict as Megatron was on fuel rationing, he seemed to have little qualms spending so much of their resources on repainting and rebuffing damaged Vehicons and Eradicons the Autobots were so fond of smacking around every fragging cycle.

If it were up to Knock Out, he would save the cosmetic budget (and his time) and let the drones wander about in their bare armour. If they couldn't keep on the paint he was so frequently re-applying, perhaps they didn't deserve to wear it in the first place.

They wouldn't have to stock so much black and purple paint then.

And maybe then they'd be able to stock a superior colour.

Say, crimson?

He was assessing the dire state of that particular colour's paint reserves when the doors to his repair bay whooshed open. His optics rolled towards the ceiling in resignation.

"No walk-ins after shift." He called over a glossy shoulder to whatever hapless Eradicon was lumbering in. "I don't work off duty unless someone _important_ is dying."

"I'll bear that in mind." Megatron's gruff voice responded.

Knock Out's internal components seemed to twist and clump together in his chassis at the jarringly husky rasp of his commander.

His spark jumped into his throat and threw off his vocaliser when he turned with his most charming of smiles to offer what he had intended to be a charismatic greeting. "Ah, Megah-_tron_." His voice broke. He cleared his vocaliser awkwardly, "What brings your perfectly _functional_ frame to my domain?"

Megatron was stood just inside the doorway, giant taloned claws clasped behind his back and chin lifted high. He looked down on Knock Out like a proud cat, optics hooded and dim with apparent satisfaction.

Knock Out couldn't for the life of him think what could have put him in such a good mood.

He hadn't seen Starscream lately, which meant they weren't fighting. Perhaps the fickle Air Commander had finally been putting out.

He didn't let those less than virtuous assumptions regarding Commander Starscream show on his tight-lipped expression though.

"You are free this evening, are you not?" Megatron didn't really ask it as a question.

Knock Out's internals tightened further. He thought of the evening he had _had_ planned with Breakdown -racing past speed cameras and hacking into the system to steal the pictures, mostly just because they always got his good side, but also to see if he could beat his speed record. He could kiss those plans goodbye.

He swallowed. "Yes."

"And Breakdown?" One of Megatron's massive brows arched.

Knock Out's unease doubled at the mention of his partner, an innocent in all this. "...Yes?"

"Good." Megatron nodded firmly, "Then you shall report to the ground bridge at eighteen hundred."

"For a mission, sir?" Knock Out was cautiously optimistic.

"Of a sort." Megatron's purr was more of an ominous growl. "You will be accompanying myself and Starscream on an outing."

By the Unmaker, _why_? What could Megatron possibly have need for them on this evening outing? Was he going to finally destroy Starscream and needed Knock Out there to verify he really _was_ good and dead (because it wasn't wise to leave these things up to chance when it came to Starscream). Would poor Breakdown have to dispose of his empty husk afterwards so Soundwave wouldn't find out?

"How fun." He said instead of voicing these worries, smile fixed. "Can't wait."

* * *

  
Knock Out tried hailing Starscream first, because it was his life that was potentially in danger. He kept getting back a busy tone though, which never actually meant the sender was busy, just that they were ignoring the person trying to contact them. So _fine_. If Starscream wanted to wander in to his own demise, let him.

That failed, he then had to break the news of their impending involvement in covering up a murder to Breakdown.

"So no speed camera racing tonight?" Breakdown bemoaned.

"No." Knock Out huffed. "It's a murder-date instead."

Breakdown's half-serious frown became a wide optic'd stare of sheer unadulterated fear. "Am I getting murdered?"

"No." Knock Out growled, grasping handfuls of sedatives from his shelves and shoving them into his subspace.

"Are you?"

"I hope not." Knock Out muttered, checking that his portable jump-leads still had some charge to them before shoving them into his subspace too.

"What are you doing?"

"Stocking up." Knock Out swept an arm across one of his equipment tables and sent the entirety of his tools clattering into his subspace to join the mess of equipment already rammed into it. "When it comes to Commander Starscream, it pays to be prepared."

"So _Screamer's_ gonna die?" Breakdown leant forward, morbidly intrigued.

Knock Out shrugged. "Doubtful, when Big M has a soft spot the size of the Red Giant for him, but his conflicting emotions never stop him from shooting someone _else_ anyway."

Breakdown's face fell. "Maybe you're overreacting. Maybe it's just a ...social thing?"

Knock Out whipped around, optics alight. "Social thing?! What do you think this is going to be? Some sort of _picnic under the stars_?!"

* * *

The last thing Knock Out expected to see when he and Breakdown made their reluctant way across the ship towards the ground bridge, was Megatron and Starscream _canoodling_ with one another in front of the offline bridge.

Knock Out's knee joints stiffened as his processor sent a command to stop his forward progress, and he clumsily tripped over his own feet. Breakdown grabbed him about the waist and set him right before he could topple over with a clatter and alert their superiors to their presence, or worse, ruin his paint job on the harsh metal decking.

They kept back a moment, clutching each other and staring with identical expressions of utter horror as they watched Starscream's supple, lithe frame twist and arch and meld itself to Megatron's spiky gargantuan front. He was sly smiles and wing flutters and low sultry tones. And though Megatron was still frowning as his second, he had a massive palm cupped to Starscream's tiny hip, and a smirk pulling on his grim mouth.

Not the sort of atmosphere either of them had braced for.

"Ahem." Breakdown cleared his vents loudly.

Knock Out expected the pair to break apart and start hissing at one another -as they were prone to when caught doing anything outside the activities of clawing and screaming at one another. They didn't. They twisted as one, as though their frames couldn't _bear_ to part from one another for a single moment.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Starscream demanded snottily, still plastered to Megatron's front, claws playing with the larger mech's insignia, tracing circles around it coyly. Never a fan of PDA, Knock Out felt vaguely unwell.

"We, er-"

"_I_ invited them." Megatron announced proudly, still shamelessly pawing at Starscream's hips.

Starscream's optics widened at his admission. He turned his ire to Megatron instead.

"You invited them? On _our date_?!"

Megatron's scarred lips pressed together firmly. "I thought the additional company would be ...welcome."

"_I'm_ supposed to be your _company_." Starscream hissed, his claws scratching instead of clawing. Knock Out winced at the shrill noise. "This was supposed to be a _romantic evening_."

Familiar with the dangerous tone, Knock Out began to inch back, wondering if he could make a break for the doors before this dissolved into a brawl even an innocent bystander such as himself wouldn't be safe from. He ended up walking back into Breakdown's solid chest with a less than stealthy clang. Starscream's gaze snapped towards them, harsh and calculating. For the first time, Knock Out cursed Breakdown's cumbersome size.

"What are you planning?" Having cast them enough of a withering stare, Starscream lifted his gaze back to Megatron.

"What are _you_ planning?" Megatron countered.

"_Why are we here_?" Breakdown ducked to whisper frantically in Knock Out's audial.

Knock Out wished he knew. He really did.

"I'm just wondering why you felt the need to being a _medic_ on our date?" Starscream began stabbing coordinates into the ground bridge control panel. Because they were still all going, apparently.

"And _I'm_ wondering why you're so _displeased_ with the presence of a medic?" Megatron stalked after him.

"It's sounds as though you think I plan to poison your fuel?"

"An idea that came to your treacherous mind rather quickly."

The space bridge activated, and Megatron swept out a long, thick arm and scooped Starscream up, pulling him towards him. They continued to bicker about the likelihood of poisons and/or bodily harm befalling someone accidentally and/or deliberately on the planet's surface as they walked arm-in-arm, snappish but affectionate in the bizarre way only _they_ could pull off. 

Having not yet been dismissed, Knock Out and Breakdown saw no option but to follow the unhappy couple.

Awkwardly, but bravely, Breakdown took Knock Out's slim hand in his own clunky one and began to lead to him towards the neon spiral of the active bridge.

"I have antidote," Knock Out muttered out of the corner of his mouth as they walked towards the swirling centre.

"Huh?" Breakdown glanced down.

"If Starscream has messed the fuel." Knock Out patted his partner's forearm reassuringly. "I've got antidote."

"You _are_ well prepared." Breakdown chuckled nervously, squeezing his hand lightly.

Well, thought Knock Out, as they stepped out onto an organic _beach_ of all places, as prepared as he could be when it came to these two.

* * *

So, it turned out, as they sat on the gritty, damp, uncomfortable sand (and Knock Out sat _on_ Breakdown so he didn't _have_ to sit on the gritty, damp, uncomfortable sand) that after four million years of war, and three million, nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and nighty nine years of fragging each other, Megatron and Starscream had no experience 'dating' one another.

None.

As the ship's medic Knock Out had the privilege of knowing the intimate details of Starscream's relationship with Megatron. They were what he would have described as 'friends with benefits' but without the 'friends' part. Until today apparently, when Starscream had asked Megatron out for a romantic evening.

It was, admittedly, very suspicious behaviour. Obviously a plot. And Knock Out was saying that as Starscream's _friend_. No wonder Megatron had wanted to bring witnesses.

Knock Out looked towards the sea and the rolling waves. The vast, expansive ocean would have been the perfect place to drop a deactivated frame and let it sink to the dark depths. It would have taken Soundwave months to recover the body.

Awkwardly perched on the beach, muttering about sand in his joints, Starscream sulkily handed Megatron energon. Megatron sniffed it, optics shifty.

"It's not poison!" Starscream all but shrieked.

Megatron extended the cube to Breakdown, ordering him to, "Drink this."

Breakdown's optics paled and darted to Knock Out for help. Knock Out got the antidote ready.

"It's. _Not. **Poison**_!" Starscream howled, snatching up a handful of sand and throwing it at Megatron. It caught in the breeze and the clump turned into a cloud, sprinkling Megatron across the face and falling into the energon.

The perfect excuse for Megatron to then tip it out.

Starscream harrumphed and crossed his arms.

A heavy silence prevailed. A seagull squawked in the distance.

"Lovely weather," said Knock Out, shifting awkwardly in Breakdown's lap. "I can't say much for this planet, but it's sunsets are really-"

"Why can't you accept I might want to do something nice for you without suspecting an assassination plot?" Starscream demanded, ignoring Knock Out's attempts at turning the 'date' into a date.

Knock Out snapped his mouth shut and resigned himself to watching the show. Breakdown folded his arms around Knock Out protectively and scooted back across the sand a little, trying to put some distance between the waring couple and him and his own partner.

"Experience." Megatron growled, showing teeth.

"There are easier was to kill you than poison." Starscream hissed. "Have you any idea how difficult it is to poison someone your size?! Diluting a dosage with energon wouldn't have nearly enough of an effect to kill you."

Megatron glanced at Knock Out.

Knock Out nodded. "He's right, you know."

"Of course I'm right." Starscream declared. "You think I haven't tried that before?"

Megatron started frowning, no doubt thinking back to any time his tanks might have ached or fuel had gone down the wrong way.

"Since no one is being poisoned-" Knock Out began to rise off Breakdown's lap, taking his partner's hand in preparation of making his swift exit.

"Why bring me all the way out here if not to assassinate me?" Megatron was still arguing with Starscream.

"You would think I was doing that, wouldn't you?" Starscream scoffed. "Given how many times _you_ would lure me out into the wilderness with the intention of deactivating me. Too cowardly to do it on the ship!"

"Cowardly?" Megatron optics flared. "This, from the mech trying to poison me?!"

Breakdown began to turn, using his own larger frame to shield Knock Out's should something (Megatron's cannon) finally blow.

"For the last time! I'm _not_ trying to _poison_ you!" Starscream howled. "I'm _trying_ to get _laid_!"

The occupants of the beach froze. Knock Out covered his face with his hands and Breakdown turned an interesting shade of purple. Only the crash of rolling waves, that ridiculous seagull squawking, and Starscream's harsh indignant vents filled the silence.

Knock Out couldn't bear to look.

"...Yes," Megatron said awkwardly. "That makes ...more sense."

Starscream folded his arms and hissed in a tight, fierce voice, "I thought it would be a _nice_ _romantic_ change not doing it on your throne for once."

Breakdown made a noise like he was about to be unwell. Knock Out patted him comfortingly.

Megatron shifted his pedes. "If you're still interested-"

"In front of the _audience_ you brought along?" Starscream cocked an eye-ridge.

Megatron's optics flicked to where Breakdown and Knock Out were huddled together.

Knock Out pointed towards a road just off the beach. The best chance at a escape from this. "We can just-"

"Yes, yes, you're dismissed." Megatron immediately shooed them. "I no longer have need of your services."

"Yes sir, thank you sir," Breakdown started bowing and dragging Knock Out back, "Have a -er- a pleasant evening sir-"

Megatron was no longer paying attention, already cozying back up to his grumpy second in command. Knock Out dared to risk a glance back, and saw the frown already breaking into a smirk across Starscream's face as Megatron reached for him, trying to loosen his stiff frame up with wandering hands.

He dug his heels in a little, too curious for his own good. "Wait a second-"

"We're not watching them!" Breakdown growled, and scooped him up in one hand and threw him over his shoulder.

Knock Out craned his neck and watched what he could before Breakdown rounded the corner. Megatron dipped his massive head to kiss Starscream, and Starscream's fluttering wings twinkled with the red glow of the setting sun.

It was, in their own dysfunctional way, kinda romantic after all.

Knock Out glanced at Breakdown, waggling his brows. "How about we have our _own_ little outdoor excursion?"

Breakdown cursed and nearly dropped him, but he didn't say 'no.'


End file.
